The art of strength

What is your definition of strength? Do you have strength?  Do you use it daily?  Do people consider you strong?

Everyday I wake up I prepare myself  to be stronger than the day before . Some days I  did really well,  while some days I truly  disappoint even myself.  I don’t go to bed the night before saying “tomorrow is gonna suck”. I mentally tell myself tomorrow is going to be a really good day.  Tomorrow I’m going to get done all the things that I need to. Sad part is I truly feel like I’m failing miserably . I feel like I’m letting my family down.  I feel as if I put too much pressure on my husband. Sometimes I wonder if he really knew what he was getting himself into When he married me. I sometimes think im too hard on myself.  It is very frustrating thinking you can do even the most simple things,  and then you can’t.

I lose a little more of myself everyday.  I don’t recognize the woman in the mirror, the woman I imagine myself to be everyday is slowly fading away, and even with this I still manage to have strength for just one more day.

This is what’s so important. Not that I did more today than tomorrow, but that I did something.  I woke up.  I managed another day.  I set out today to teach others, to reach out and help just one more person.  I’m gonna shout out from the rooftops, the news channels, the government.  My pain. My suffering.  My story. This is strength. Doing this even though I will be mocked.  This is strength even when the doors are shut in my face. This is strength even when I’m denied disability , I will fight.  My voice will be heard. I will make a difference . I will help others . Through every single let down, I will have double in victory. Why?  Because you just read this.  You now know.  You can share this blog and the many before,  and the ones to follow.

I am a warrior. I’m 45. I’m not going to go unheard.  Lipoedema does not define me. Sit back and watch this all unfold.  One voice.  My voice.  My strength. It’s a beautiful thing.